So let's try again!

So, obviously I have been pretty bad about posting like I said I wanted to do better. haha! But in the few months that I have not posted you have really sprouted and grown so much. You are now a little over five months now. About a week over. I am still in awe that you were in my tummy last year at this time and I was anxiously waiting for you to get here.
In the last few months you have done so much. You are:
Rolling over
Have sprouted two bottom teeth
Grab everything and want to eat it
Have a little bit of a temper and are not too patient!
Have a beautiful smile and love to show it to people
Are a very friendly baby
Love to be around other babies and have a great time
Started swimming lessons
Met great new friends and hopefully lifelong friends!
Go to library story time and love to listen and play with other friends
Love toys and are very alert.
People comment all the time to me about how alert and BIG you are. You weighed 17 lbs and were 27 inches at your four month appointment. You have been growing longer and not gaining as much weight I think. But I love you so much just the same. You are definitely your father's mini me and he is just so thrilled to be with you.
I started a job in December, late December and I am a NOC nurse. I work four nights on and two days off. I really don't like it. Why? Because I want to be around for you a lot. I really do. I hate missing firsts that I feel that I need to be around for and I try my best to be around for them. Like I was not going to miss your first day of swimming if it killed me. It about did, I was never so tired. But the little smile on your face and kicking and splashing you did in the pool was worth it. We are getting you baptized! You will have two sets of godparents from your father's side. Mainly because I don't really have any Catholics on my side. Haha
Pictures will post in a bit. Love you, Chandler. You really are a joy for us to have in our life.
Oh and you got roseola from someone at your cousin Sandra Borba's wedding. You broke out in measles like rash and we thought we were going to have to quarintine you. But nope just roseola and now that you have it you won' t get it again! Yay! Not really! You kept us up scratching and being miserable. :(

I will do better

So I have been remiss about posting daily for you since this is what this whole blog was meant to be aimed towards for you. I really want a posting of a place that I can show you how you grew and how much you are loved and so cherished.
It is not without its ups and downs. I remember one night I was thinking about how small you were and how one day you wouldn't be able to sleep across my chest anymore and your little arm went limp as you slept and I was holding your hand with my index finger. I was holding it and really thinking how one day it would be bigger than mine and that it would never again be this small and then you squeezed my hand as if you knew. I am crying writing this post right now.
Here is a little chronicle of what has been going on for the past two months. You have been a busy bee.
You smile and know who we are now. Your smile lights up my life.
You laugh at us and get big eyes when you hear something you don't know what it is.
You are trying to sit up!
You hold your head up by yourself. Pretty well I might add.
You are getting so big! You weigh 14 lbs and are probably about 24 inches or so.
You are scared of the dark.
You like to sleep on your stomach. Which I hate because it scares me to death.
You have really strong legs and love to kick.
You are a precious being and I love you so much. Your daddy and I are so lucky to have you.
You are teaching me patience. Which is REALLY hard for someone like me.
You have ear tags that people ask me about and I really want to say mind your biz! I love his ear tags because they are part of you and everything about you is amazing.
You have fat toes!
You are ticklish with your feet!

Your birth story

Your birth story starts out pretty uneventful at first. We get to the hospital on September 19, 2014 around 300 pm. They already called to see where we were at as they were expecting us around lunch. I had to wait for your father to finish up things at work first so when he got home we were out the door pretty much.
I get to the hospital and they immediately show me my room. Huge birthing suite which is nice. I get undressed completely and they put monitors on me and give me Cervidil to help soften my cervix so that it will start to contract hopefully. I was trying to do your birth all natural with no other drugs, if possible.
First round of Cervidil is 12 hours then they will check to see how I am and either give me another round of cervidil or pitocin. So around 430 pm I get first round on Friday afternoon.

September 20, 2014
Saturday morning at 430 am they check me and nothing is going on, so another round of Cervidil it is for 12 hours. Around 430 pm Saturday they say they wanna give me Pitocin to see if that will help me.
Around 7 pm they give me Pitocin and if no labor starts then they will discontinue at 11 pm and give to me again in morning on Sunday. Well of course nothing happens and so I get to spend another night in the hospital.

Sunday, September 21, 2014
Sunday I woke up, ate breakfast, took a shower and they started the pitocin. They start slow and low and every 1/2 hour they up the dosage till you are in full blown contractions.
Our doula Kimberly Kamine was in another birth that lasted a few days, as well in the next room. She called another doula to cover her and that is how we met Paula Patton. She was amazing to come in while I was in full labor and offer her services. I was in full blown contractions when she came in and immediately put her TENS on me and it felt great while I was in contractions.
I was checked and my cervix had not opened. I was effacing but not opening. They asked me if I had ever had surgery on my cervix. Yes, I had a colposcopy almost 10 years ago! That was the aha moment. The OB/GYN was called in and had to look inside with her speculum (not fun) but they gave me a bit of fentanyl to take edge off which was nice. They didn't wanna cut the cervix for fear of more scar tissue or put a balloon to blow it up and soften it.
So they wanted to give me an epidural and go in manually and open up my cervix manually with their fingers. I was only 1 cm dilated and we need to get to 10 cm so I can push. So I had a ways to go.
So around 9 pm that night I got an epidural that took effect pretty quickly. Around 11 pm my midwife, Maria (pronounced Mar e ah) came in and flicked my cervix open to 4 cm. Just like that it was ready to go.

Monday, September 22, 2014
Every few hours the Midwife or nurse would come in and check my cervix to make sure it was opening. I kept getting break through pain with the epidural and was getting bolus doses of pain meds but the anesthesiologist was kind of a jerk with the meds after awhile.
Around 3 am I felt a trickle of something down my leg. Since I had to be catheterized with the epidural I knew I wasn't peeing on myself. I hoped! But they checked and my water broke! Yay! More progress.
Well, the epidural ran out and another anesthesiologist came and changed it and gave me a different pain med. I was slowly and surely dilating to around 9 cm that morning. But the pain med that I was given that time worked a bit to well and your heart rate dropped to low and for too long. All of sudden many people ran in and told me to turn on my other side, they had to find your hear rate and to breathe oxygen in deep with my mask to get oxygen flowing to you fast. Your heart rate came up and it was good after that. I was checked and told to labor a bit more to bring you down further into the canal so I wouldn't have to push as much.
That happened around 730/8 am.
Around 1030 am they came in checked me and said it was time to push. It was funny because  your father was reading the paper and my doula was reading a book. I was just laying there with my eyes closed listening to your heart rate as music.
1040 I started to push and it burned when your head came out! But then I heard your head was out and I just needed to push your shoulders out. I did and felt a huge rush of relief and excitement to hold you in my arms. But you weren't breathing.
Your dad was supposed to cut your cord and I was supposed to have your slippery body on my chest right away. But they cut your cord right away and handed you to the nurse to be put in the isolette. I knew something was wrong because you weren't crying. I saw the NICU nurse come in and then the NICU doctor come in and I saw them lavage you and then heard your cry and only then did I feel a sense of relief that you were going to be ok.
Mind you, I am still bleeding and having my placenta taken out and being sewn for a small internal tear at this time. But that was nothing compared to the sheer fear that gripped me when I couldn't hear you cry. When you came out I immediately saw some dark poop on your bottom. So I knew you had a bowel movement and had most likely swallowed or breathed in some meconium. I also saw your two little skin tags on your ear!

Here are a few of the photos at the hospital while we were waiting for you.

Your dad making sure the go pro was up and ready to go

Me waiting for you to kick it into high gear!

First pics of the bug all clean

You with your hat from the volunteers

Love you

You are so loved

Can't get enough of you

I love your tummy

You are happiest on someone's chest

You do not like to be cold.

you love to sleep

Meeting your Grandma Genevieve 

Your skin tags on your left ear. 

We stayed at the hospital till that Wednesday, September 24, 2014. Finally! They let us go with you. More stories to come tomorrow. 

40 Weeks

Well, this is the week! 40 weeks it is right now. We went to a doctor appointment on Wednesday, September 17, 2014 and they measured and listened for your heartbeat. They heard it loud and strong and you are growing bigger! We scheduled another appointment for Friday, September 19, 2014 in the morning for the ultrasound and stress test to see how you are doing in the womb. 

It also is your cousin Andrew's birthday and we were making plans to go see him play football at his high school. 

We get to the appointment with no sense of urgency or even thinking that you might come this weekend. I was even making plans to go to a concert in San Francisco to see an artist, LP, that I absolutely love and have wanted to see for some time. She is amazing and I really have been trying to see her for about three years now. 

Well, we get to the appointment and do the ultrasound. The tech asked what we thought you might weigh as the ultrasound machine can guesstimate your weight. I said 7 lbs and your father said 8lb 2 oz. 

Well your father was right! But so was I! haha! The ultrasound said it was a +/- of 1.2 lbs. So could go either way, but I was hopeful it was lower not higher. I have to push you out you know. 

Well, we thought we were going to take the stress test next and low and behold the Nurse practitioner came in and said the amniotic fluid was 1.7 and was too low for you and you needed to come out. So were we ready to have a baby? I was! Your dad got really nervous and was extremely fidgety! You could tell he was not ready! He even said that he was telling himself "this is not a drill! This is real!" haha.

So they said they were going to call the hospital and to go in because they were going to induce me that day. 

Well I got out of the appointment and your dad headed back to work to finish everything. I sent out the text that they were going to induce that day and we should have a baby that night or tomorrow! I was excited. 

I went home, cleaned up the house, changed sheets, and got all of our luggage by the door. (your father was supposed to do that) 

Your Uncle Sal came over to stay for a few days with the dogs and your grandma Genevieve. I taught him how to feed all of these dogs. A lot of dogs! We have Simon, Hannah, Coco, Amy and then Pepper and Ponch from my mom.

40 weeks! Ready to get induced today!

We are headed to the hospital for you! Can't wait to meet you and see your little face and hold you in my arms. I love you so much already, Chandler. 

39 Weeks

39 Weeks!
Well little doodle bug! You are very stubborn and want to hang out inside for  long as you can! Everything is ready for you and the midwife group (Bay Area Maternity in Cupertino) says that you are growing fine and your heartbeat is strong. So we can wait another week for you to see if you want to come out naturally. They are going to do an ultrasound and non-stress fetal test to see how you are doing next week.
Your father STILL has not finished packing his bag and has not gotten the Go Pro camera up and ready to go. I think he thinks he has lots of time. Here you are in my belly at 39 weeks and showing how much my poor feet have swollen! I am waiting for you bug!!

Doula Meeting

Today we meet with our Doula before the big event (birth) and she gave us some amazing relaxation positions that we are going to be using while I labor at home. I am going to be laboring at home till it is basically time to transition and then going to the hospital to meet my midwife. I chose to do a midwife assisted birth with a doula. I do plan on having as non-medicated birth as possible to bring our son into the world. I know my body can do this and I have to remain strong and be positive about all of this.
If you don't know what a doula is:
http://www.dona.org/mothers/ 

I also allowed myself permission to receive any meds that I may need or want should I have to have them. I don't want to make myself feel guilty that I had drugs at my birth if I so choose to have them. So I am keeping an open mind about everything. Which is exactly how you should be when choosing a birth plan of any sort for yourself.

We are awaiting baby boy's arrival!

From a small pea to a big boy

38 Weeks

Here we are at 38 weeks! We are awaiting the birth of our first child. Our "messiah" as I like to call him. I am anxious and nervous and can't believe all the stuff that one little child accumulates  or that maybe we all think they need.
We are awaiting your arrival Chandler!